One of my all time favorite little kid picture books is called "Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon." Written by Patty Lovell, this book is inspirational. Here ya go!
Molly Lou Melon stood just taller than her dog and was the shortest girl in the first grade. She didn't mind. Her grandma had told her, "Walk as proudly as you can and the world will look up to you."
(Picture showing Molly Lou Melon sliding down the banister on one arm) So she did.
Molly Lou Melon had buck teeth that stuck out so far, she could stack pennies on them. She didn't mind. Her grandma had told her, "Smile big and the world will smile right alongside you."
(Closeup picture of Molly Lou Melon's smile) So she did.
Molly Lou Melon had a voice that sounded like a bullfrog being squeezed by a boa constrictor. She didn't mind. Her grandma had told her, "Sing out clear and strong and the world will cry tears of joy."
(Molly Lou Melon showed singing over a crowd of animals) So she did.
Molly Lou Melon was often fumble fingered. She didn't mind. Her grandma had told her, "Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you too."
(Picture showing Molly Lou Melon on a tightrope, riding a unicycle, and juggling a tea set) So she did.
Then Molly Lou Melon moved to a new town. She had to say goodbye to her grandma and all her friends...
and start in a new school.
On the first day of school, Ronald Durkin called her "SHRIMPO!" in gym class.
(Shows Molly Lou Melon running with a football, wearing an over sized helmet and Ronald Durkin flying through the air) When the game started, Molly Lou Melon caught the football, ran under the legs of Ronald Durkin, and scored a touchdown. All the children thought, "Wow, she's good!" and Ronald Durkin felt very foolish.
On the second day of school, Ronald Durkin called her "BUCKY-TOOTH BEAVER!"
(Shows Molly Lou Melon with seven pennies stacked on her buckteeth) Molly Lou Melon took out her pennies, stacked ten high on her teeth, and smiled as big as day. All the children smiled with glee and Ronald Durkin felt very foolish.
On the third day of school, Ronald Durkin said, "You sound like a sick duck--HONK HONK!"
(Shows Molly Lou Melon standing on top of Ronald Durkin, laughing) Molly Lou Melon sang out a "QUACK!" so clear and strong that it made Ronald Durkin somersault backwards, hit his head, and have to go to the nurse. All the children cried with joy to be free of Ronald Durkin for the rest of the afternoon and Ronald Durkin felt very foolish.
On the fourth day of school, Ronald Durkin said that she'd made her snowflake all wrong. But Molly Lou Melon opened up her paper and revealed the most beautiful snowflake of all.
(Shows all the children surrounding a huge, pretty snowflake with Molly Lou Melon standing in the middle of it) All the children oohed and aahed, even Ronald.
On the fifth day of school, Ronald Durkin brought Molly Lou Melon a stacking penny for her tooth and smiled at her.
(Shows a tiny, gray-haired old lady sitting on a big pillow in an over sized chair)That night Molly Lou Melon took out a pencil and paper and wrote a letter to her grandma:
Dear Grandma,
I wanted to tell you that everything
you told me was exactly right!
Love,
Molly Lou Melon
This is an amazing book. The illustrations are also amazing (drawn by David Catrow). Go read it...I don't care how old you are...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Laughable Things
Have you ever read or seen something hilarious that isn't as funny as you really think it is? Trust me, I have. The most boring or unamusing thing ever will most certainly make me laugh my butt off. Afterwords, I think to myself...maybe that would make anyone laugh. But I don't know...what do you think?
Picture it...you are watching a movie on YouTube. A scene with a bucket in a chair shows up on your computer screen. The confused, drawn-on face doesn't move...then you hear it...the high-pitched voice off-camera saying, "Are you bashin' us?" You chuckle and then continue to watch. The bucket shows up on your moniter again, however, and this time, he's angry. "Are you askin' for it?" How can this get any better? If you said someone putting the bucket on their head and fighting...you'd be correct! And sure enough...some short little freak is wearing the bucket in the next clip. And she is kicking butt. With one last gut punch, she walks offscreen and pauses the camera. Meanwhile, you there, in your computer chair, have fallen to the floor with uncontrollable giggles. You finally catch your breath after ten minutes of hysterical chipmunk laughter and play the loop over again...and over and over and over again...
Now what about something live that's funny? Like...I don't know...your father running into the dining room with a metal bowl on his head like a helmet? And the fact that he's banging it with a spoon doesn't help you catch your breath either...well get ready to call 911 because, good news, the bowl is stuck. It takes five minutes, four hands and a lot of elbow grease to get the sucker off. And while your on the floor peeing your pants from laughing, you notice the red ring imprinted in your father's head from the bowl. Hilarious...right?
I must tell you that what you have just read is not a wonderful piece of fiction. They are true stories that happened to me personally, with my wo friends and parents along for the ride. Now...I ask you...was that funny?
Picture it...you are watching a movie on YouTube. A scene with a bucket in a chair shows up on your computer screen. The confused, drawn-on face doesn't move...then you hear it...the high-pitched voice off-camera saying, "Are you bashin' us?" You chuckle and then continue to watch. The bucket shows up on your moniter again, however, and this time, he's angry. "Are you askin' for it?" How can this get any better? If you said someone putting the bucket on their head and fighting...you'd be correct! And sure enough...some short little freak is wearing the bucket in the next clip. And she is kicking butt. With one last gut punch, she walks offscreen and pauses the camera. Meanwhile, you there, in your computer chair, have fallen to the floor with uncontrollable giggles. You finally catch your breath after ten minutes of hysterical chipmunk laughter and play the loop over again...and over and over and over again...
Now what about something live that's funny? Like...I don't know...your father running into the dining room with a metal bowl on his head like a helmet? And the fact that he's banging it with a spoon doesn't help you catch your breath either...well get ready to call 911 because, good news, the bowl is stuck. It takes five minutes, four hands and a lot of elbow grease to get the sucker off. And while your on the floor peeing your pants from laughing, you notice the red ring imprinted in your father's head from the bowl. Hilarious...right?
I must tell you that what you have just read is not a wonderful piece of fiction. They are true stories that happened to me personally, with my wo friends and parents along for the ride. Now...I ask you...was that funny?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Two freecreditreport.com Songs
Well, I'm shoppin for a new car,
which one's me.
A cool convertible,
or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my
credit was whack,
so I'm drivin off the lot
in a used sub-compact.
F-R-E-E
That spells free
creditreport.com baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about goin, but was too lazy
Now instead of lookin fly
and rollin fat,
My legs are stickin to the vinyl
and my posse's gettin laughed at
F-R-E-E
That spells free
creditreport.com baby
****
I was gettin depressed at all the
stress I was feelin at home.
I had a poor credit score and
the number would haunt me wherever I go.
So I moved to a place
where my credit could stink
and nobody would care.
It's just too bad that somebody
didn't tell me that place was
a Renaissance fair.
Freecreditreport.com
Tell your friends, tell your dad,
tell your mom.
Never mind, they've been singin our songs
since we first showed up
with our pirate hats on.
If you're not in to fake sword fights.
Pointy slippers or green wool tights.
Take a tip from a knight who knows,
freecreditreport.com
Let's go!
which one's me.
A cool convertible,
or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my
credit was whack,
so I'm drivin off the lot
in a used sub-compact.
F-R-E-E
That spells free
creditreport.com baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about goin, but was too lazy
Now instead of lookin fly
and rollin fat,
My legs are stickin to the vinyl
and my posse's gettin laughed at
F-R-E-E
That spells free
creditreport.com baby
****
I was gettin depressed at all the
stress I was feelin at home.
I had a poor credit score and
the number would haunt me wherever I go.
So I moved to a place
where my credit could stink
and nobody would care.
It's just too bad that somebody
didn't tell me that place was
a Renaissance fair.
Freecreditreport.com
Tell your friends, tell your dad,
tell your mom.
Never mind, they've been singin our songs
since we first showed up
with our pirate hats on.
If you're not in to fake sword fights.
Pointy slippers or green wool tights.
Take a tip from a knight who knows,
freecreditreport.com
Let's go!
Why Sharks are Awesome...
This blog topic was born where many, if not all, blog topics are born...my sixth period Health class. It all started one day in...February, I think...and I happened to be watching the Discovery Channel. A preview for that show called Nature came on and showed a Great White Shark jumping out of the water. I always love seeing sharks do that. I love sharks. They are the most innocent creatures in the world, did you know that? More about that later. But the next day I was telling my friend Shenihqua about it and my other friend Noah said something along the lines of, "I hate sharks. They're evil." Now that just got me and Shenihqua started. Sharks are not evil. They are far from it. But Noah was adamant...sharks are evil. They kill people, apparently. And I know that practically everyone thinks that because they don't take time to look at things like this logically. They jump straight to the easiest conclusion. Sharks eat people. Okay...no they do not!
Let me just give you some background info about sharks. The largest shark in the world also happens to be the least dangerous. The Whale Shark, measuring in at around 59 feet long, is the most gentle shark modern-day scientists know of. They eat krill, plankton and floating vegetation. They even let humans swim alongside them in the ocean. Now, in my mind the most dangerous shark could be one of two creatures. The Tiger Shark is named from the tell-tale tiger strip markings on its back. It leaves humans alone until it gets pissed off. Which I have proof isn't easily done (sometimes). When my dad was in basic training for the army, he was stationed in Hawaii. They were swimming one day and my dad got bumped by something in the water. When he looked to see what it was, he discovered it was a Tiger Shark. The shark did nothing...it just swam away. But, when angered, this shark can get majorly aggressive. But, that's its main line of protection in the water. The other shark would be the Great White Shark, made famous by the classic movie, Jaws. These sharks are elusive, fast and highly intelligent. But, I would have to say that these sharks are the most dangerous because they are known to bite anything that moves. It's how they check to see what something is. They have to make up for their poor eyesight by "feeling." Yes, this shark is dangerous. No, this shark is not evil. It's not like it floats around in the caves underwater with a list of specific people it will attack.
Other sharks that swim in "our" waters would be the Hammerhead, the Nurse, Lemon, Megamouth, and the Thrasher sharks. All these sharks look, act and behave differently. Most people think that sharks are bad because when shark attacks do happen, they are bad. But did you know that more people get killed by bees each year than dying from shark attacks? More people die from lightning than shark attacks. And car crashes kill people more often than sharks do. As I said before...sharks are the most innocent creatures in the world. All they do is swim, eat and make little sharks. We must remember that we were the ones that invaded their waters and their habitats. They were here first. But we always blame them.
Sharks have very poor eyesight. Adding that with the fact that their eyes are on the sides of their heads, they can't tell the difference between a seal swimming above them and a person on a surfboard. Most shark attack victims were on surfboards when the sharks attacked them. Now, if you want to talk evil sea creatures...well, let's just say that Shamu isn't as nice and pretty as everyone thinks. Do you know how they kill seals to eat them? They literally play with their food. They flip a seal back and forth for a long time, catching it over and over again, until it dies. And what does a shark do? Practically nothing...
Noah gets mad when I talk abut this so I have stopped talking about it to her. Whatever you do...don't ask Noah to go to a picnic after saying sharks are awesome...she won't like that...
Let me just give you some background info about sharks. The largest shark in the world also happens to be the least dangerous. The Whale Shark, measuring in at around 59 feet long, is the most gentle shark modern-day scientists know of. They eat krill, plankton and floating vegetation. They even let humans swim alongside them in the ocean. Now, in my mind the most dangerous shark could be one of two creatures. The Tiger Shark is named from the tell-tale tiger strip markings on its back. It leaves humans alone until it gets pissed off. Which I have proof isn't easily done (sometimes). When my dad was in basic training for the army, he was stationed in Hawaii. They were swimming one day and my dad got bumped by something in the water. When he looked to see what it was, he discovered it was a Tiger Shark. The shark did nothing...it just swam away. But, when angered, this shark can get majorly aggressive. But, that's its main line of protection in the water. The other shark would be the Great White Shark, made famous by the classic movie, Jaws. These sharks are elusive, fast and highly intelligent. But, I would have to say that these sharks are the most dangerous because they are known to bite anything that moves. It's how they check to see what something is. They have to make up for their poor eyesight by "feeling." Yes, this shark is dangerous. No, this shark is not evil. It's not like it floats around in the caves underwater with a list of specific people it will attack.
Other sharks that swim in "our" waters would be the Hammerhead, the Nurse, Lemon, Megamouth, and the Thrasher sharks. All these sharks look, act and behave differently. Most people think that sharks are bad because when shark attacks do happen, they are bad. But did you know that more people get killed by bees each year than dying from shark attacks? More people die from lightning than shark attacks. And car crashes kill people more often than sharks do. As I said before...sharks are the most innocent creatures in the world. All they do is swim, eat and make little sharks. We must remember that we were the ones that invaded their waters and their habitats. They were here first. But we always blame them.
Sharks have very poor eyesight. Adding that with the fact that their eyes are on the sides of their heads, they can't tell the difference between a seal swimming above them and a person on a surfboard. Most shark attack victims were on surfboards when the sharks attacked them. Now, if you want to talk evil sea creatures...well, let's just say that Shamu isn't as nice and pretty as everyone thinks. Do you know how they kill seals to eat them? They literally play with their food. They flip a seal back and forth for a long time, catching it over and over again, until it dies. And what does a shark do? Practically nothing...
Noah gets mad when I talk abut this so I have stopped talking about it to her. Whatever you do...don't ask Noah to go to a picnic after saying sharks are awesome...she won't like that...
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Today's Supposed "Stars" (A Short Rant)
Go up to any eight year old girl and ask her who she admires. Go up to any girl between the ages of twelve and twenty-two and find out who her favorite actor of the moment is. Guess how many girls in your school have a certain trio of brothers face's plastered on their walls'. Look around and try to see who's hiding an old folder with a group of fake high schoolers jumping for joy on it. They are all obsessing about the so called "stars of our time" yet they try so hard to deny it.
Just about every young girl on the planet Earth, or at least in the United States, are in love with the diva that suffers from MPD, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. They admire her because she's like a real Barbie. She's perfect, although she says no one really is. She sings, she acts and she's funny! What more could a little kid ask for in a role model? Hmmm.....let's see here....talent? Integrity? Originality? The young woman couldn't act her way into a SciFi movie if daddy wasn't Billy Ray Cyrus. He's famous, therefore she has opportunities. Her music sounds too peppy and happy and isn't it all essentially about the same thing? She is this supposed Goddess among nine year olds yet she dresses like the lovely "women" in the 50 Cent rap videos. And what's all this about dating a twenty year old? Isn't she, like, sixteen? Isn't that illegal for someone over the age of eighteen to date someone under the age of sixteen? Even if it that's not true, isn't she always complaining to the magazines how she isn't treated like she wants to be and her dad is strict? I can't see a dad being strict saying okay to letting his daughter date a twenty year old. And the way she acts around him and with him...I mean, just take a look at the May/June issue of the magazine, J-14. On page 38, young Miley is seen jogging in a rather questionable outfit with her boyfriend. Short shorts, a bikini top and a really low-cut t-shirt for jogging? Next to your twenty year old bare-chested bo? Appropriate behavior for the idol of little kids everywhere? I think not...
I will be the first to admit that I have pictures of Robert Pattinson plastered on every possible inch of my wall. Practically everyone in my school loves him. And you have to admit, it's hard not to. Especially when he's not used to the attention.It makes you love him a little bit more! But let's get this straight...I'm not going to say good things about him just because I like him. Yeah, I'll say good things but if I think something, I'm going to say it whether it is good or bad. But to be honest, I can't think about anything bad to do with Rob. He's like the good guy in the famous world right now. As far as I know, he hasn't done anything fake or annoying. But what is annoying that has to do with Robert Pattinson? All the fans! A lot of them like him because he's Edward and some just for him. But when fake Twilight fans are showing up knowing nothing about the books and claim to, that gets annoying. They are in love with Rob and he's in Twilight. So the say they love Edward and Twilight. But they don't read Twilight, they just watch the movies and make fool's of themselves. The sad truth is...Robert Pattinson brings out the fakers of the world...and I also think my friend Kelsey would like to mention his eyebrows. They have a tendency to freak some people out.
Year 3000 is over. We have all been zapped back to the reality that is 2009. The Jonas Brothers are bigger than they have ever been before. They are everywhere! They have taken over the music industry and their jumbo-sized faces are splashed across every magazine around. You can't go anywhere without seeing Nick, Joe or Kevin. People have even started to talk about little Frankie non-stop! And to top all this off, they freaking get a television show! After the "success" of Camp Rock, the Disney Channel Original Movie, the head haunchos down at Disney decide to give them even more unnecessary popularity with a show titled Jonas. Let me just say that not only is their music getting stale, they can't act and hopefully, the show will be cancelled before the start of my sophomore year. But I highly doubt that due to the amount of drooling and screaming girls dedicated to making their fame rise. And the really sad thing is...the fans would do anything for anything Jonas! Or settle for anything, at least. For example, the cover of the May 2009 issue of BOP magazine shows a pic of Joe Jonas with the caption, "OMJ! See Joe's bare feet!" Really? All I can ask is...why?
How did two things every kid hates get turned into such a successful hit that got old two movies ago? High School Musical is the sad story of a jock that can sing and falls for the geek. The hot geek and we all know that only happens in movies. The lame "jumping onstage" pose lasted for another movie and many copycats. The last movie (hopefully) was the only one to go to theaters because the actors wanted something more serious. Somehow Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are still together and are luckily branching away from the Disney Channel roots. Zac recently starred in 17 Again and Vanessa is singing her own tunes now. But it's shocking that Disney even invited her back after the nude photos leaked to the internet last year...the movies were lame but everyone loved them. That doesn't happen in the normal world and seriously proves my theory that we were all somehow transported to a different planet and are subconsciously following all of Venus' secret plans...
Today's so called stars are some real winners. Hopefully, they won't be all we hear about for the next five years...I think it's time for some new talent to arrive...
Just about every young girl on the planet Earth, or at least in the United States, are in love with the diva that suffers from MPD, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. They admire her because she's like a real Barbie. She's perfect, although she says no one really is. She sings, she acts and she's funny! What more could a little kid ask for in a role model? Hmmm.....let's see here....talent? Integrity? Originality? The young woman couldn't act her way into a SciFi movie if daddy wasn't Billy Ray Cyrus. He's famous, therefore she has opportunities. Her music sounds too peppy and happy and isn't it all essentially about the same thing? She is this supposed Goddess among nine year olds yet she dresses like the lovely "women" in the 50 Cent rap videos. And what's all this about dating a twenty year old? Isn't she, like, sixteen? Isn't that illegal for someone over the age of eighteen to date someone under the age of sixteen? Even if it that's not true, isn't she always complaining to the magazines how she isn't treated like she wants to be and her dad is strict? I can't see a dad being strict saying okay to letting his daughter date a twenty year old. And the way she acts around him and with him...I mean, just take a look at the May/June issue of the magazine, J-14. On page 38, young Miley is seen jogging in a rather questionable outfit with her boyfriend. Short shorts, a bikini top and a really low-cut t-shirt for jogging? Next to your twenty year old bare-chested bo? Appropriate behavior for the idol of little kids everywhere? I think not...
I will be the first to admit that I have pictures of Robert Pattinson plastered on every possible inch of my wall. Practically everyone in my school loves him. And you have to admit, it's hard not to. Especially when he's not used to the attention.It makes you love him a little bit more! But let's get this straight...I'm not going to say good things about him just because I like him. Yeah, I'll say good things but if I think something, I'm going to say it whether it is good or bad. But to be honest, I can't think about anything bad to do with Rob. He's like the good guy in the famous world right now. As far as I know, he hasn't done anything fake or annoying. But what is annoying that has to do with Robert Pattinson? All the fans! A lot of them like him because he's Edward and some just for him. But when fake Twilight fans are showing up knowing nothing about the books and claim to, that gets annoying. They are in love with Rob and he's in Twilight. So the say they love Edward and Twilight. But they don't read Twilight, they just watch the movies and make fool's of themselves. The sad truth is...Robert Pattinson brings out the fakers of the world...and I also think my friend Kelsey would like to mention his eyebrows. They have a tendency to freak some people out.
Year 3000 is over. We have all been zapped back to the reality that is 2009. The Jonas Brothers are bigger than they have ever been before. They are everywhere! They have taken over the music industry and their jumbo-sized faces are splashed across every magazine around. You can't go anywhere without seeing Nick, Joe or Kevin. People have even started to talk about little Frankie non-stop! And to top all this off, they freaking get a television show! After the "success" of Camp Rock, the Disney Channel Original Movie, the head haunchos down at Disney decide to give them even more unnecessary popularity with a show titled Jonas. Let me just say that not only is their music getting stale, they can't act and hopefully, the show will be cancelled before the start of my sophomore year. But I highly doubt that due to the amount of drooling and screaming girls dedicated to making their fame rise. And the really sad thing is...the fans would do anything for anything Jonas! Or settle for anything, at least. For example, the cover of the May 2009 issue of BOP magazine shows a pic of Joe Jonas with the caption, "OMJ! See Joe's bare feet!" Really? All I can ask is...why?
How did two things every kid hates get turned into such a successful hit that got old two movies ago? High School Musical is the sad story of a jock that can sing and falls for the geek. The hot geek and we all know that only happens in movies. The lame "jumping onstage" pose lasted for another movie and many copycats. The last movie (hopefully) was the only one to go to theaters because the actors wanted something more serious. Somehow Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are still together and are luckily branching away from the Disney Channel roots. Zac recently starred in 17 Again and Vanessa is singing her own tunes now. But it's shocking that Disney even invited her back after the nude photos leaked to the internet last year...the movies were lame but everyone loved them. That doesn't happen in the normal world and seriously proves my theory that we were all somehow transported to a different planet and are subconsciously following all of Venus' secret plans...
Today's so called stars are some real winners. Hopefully, they won't be all we hear about for the next five years...I think it's time for some new talent to arrive...
Monday, May 4, 2009
I'm a Lonely Soul...
Well, I recently took a quiz on Facebook titled, "What type of soul do you have?" And my results were, well, very accurate. Let me start off by saying that I am a very shy, private person. I don't open up to just anyone...you have to be pretty awesome for that. My friends got accurate results as well. My friend Colby got an Energetic Soul and my friend Noah got a Kind Soul. This is all very true. I, for one, got titled as a Lonely Soul.
"You have a lonely soul. You are probably depressed and like to be alone most of the time. You may think you're all alone but there are people out there that care deeply for you, just open up and look around."
My first reaction was laughing. My second was realizing that this is true but not as bad as it seems. I'm not that depressed and I know there are people out there that care deeply for me. But I like to seclude myself from the "outside world." Now...I don't know the other soul labels but here are a few of my own...
Evil Soul: You laugh in the faces of the weak and feeble people that stand in your way. You insult and mentally damage your foes (yes, you have enemies). You don't let anything get to you and you love power. Example: Hitler
The Soul of Procrastination: It is what it says. You don't care. You don't know why. You put off everything and end up not finishing it half of the time. Example: Joey Easter
Gullible Soul: You can also be described as naive. You like to think there is good in everyone. You always look at both sides and can be a tad optimistic (and by a tad, I mean, a lot). Example: Spongebob Squarepants
Now, people that know me well might say I am also a tad bit on the evil side of things. But it is what it is...
"You have a lonely soul. You are probably depressed and like to be alone most of the time. You may think you're all alone but there are people out there that care deeply for you, just open up and look around."
My first reaction was laughing. My second was realizing that this is true but not as bad as it seems. I'm not that depressed and I know there are people out there that care deeply for me. But I like to seclude myself from the "outside world." Now...I don't know the other soul labels but here are a few of my own...
Evil Soul: You laugh in the faces of the weak and feeble people that stand in your way. You insult and mentally damage your foes (yes, you have enemies). You don't let anything get to you and you love power. Example: Hitler
The Soul of Procrastination: It is what it says. You don't care. You don't know why. You put off everything and end up not finishing it half of the time. Example: Joey Easter
Gullible Soul: You can also be described as naive. You like to think there is good in everyone. You always look at both sides and can be a tad optimistic (and by a tad, I mean, a lot). Example: Spongebob Squarepants
Now, people that know me well might say I am also a tad bit on the evil side of things. But it is what it is...
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